NNSquad - Network Neutrality Squad
[ NNSquad ] "Conspiracy Revealed!" - Why There's No Camera on the iPad!
"Conspiracy Revealed!" - Why There's No Camera on the iPad!
http://lauren.vortex.com/archive/000674.html
Greetings. Since Apple's unveiling yesterday of the iPad, one of the
more vexing questions has been why such an advanced device lacks any
sort of integral camera -- a small front-facing camera would seem a
perfect match, and likely wouldn't increase the overall production
costs dramatically vs. the significant additional appeal it would have
given the iPad itself.
Was it really a matter of cost? Or perhaps a ploy to sell the next
iPad version that actually might include a camera? Or maybe an
unwieldy webcam hookup via the added cost dongles (needed for any USB
attachments to the iPad) was considered to be good enough?
My curiosity finally got the better of me, so for the first time in
years I called up my old friend Ersatz T. Compeer, who always seems to
have the proverbial inside pulse of hi-tech. Ersatz is a nice enough
guy, but rather disconcerting to be around. He'll never reveal where
he gets his information, and the parade of black sedans with dark
windows that seem to tail him everywhere makes a lunch meeting feel
like a visit to Berlin's old Checkpoint Charlie during the Cold War.
"Thanks for taking the time to talk to me today Ernie!" I began.
"Always a hoot, Lauren," he replied. "So you wanna know about the
mysterious missing iPad camera, huh?"
"Yeah. Like I mentioned in my e-mail, it just seems so weird that Steve
left something so obvious out. Were any of my guesses correct? Cost?
Positioning for the 2.0 version, or ..."
"No. No. No. Jeez Lauren. How many times do I have to say it? You
have to look through a glass darkly to understand situations like
this," he said.
"Oh boy. Are you about to feed me another one of your wacky
conspiracy theories?" I asked.
"Wacky? When have I ever steered you wrong?"
"Well, there was that gunk you fed me about a Google Dyson Sphere
project ..."
"Trust me! They're still working on that! They're just trying to
scale up gradually before announcing the beta ..."
"OK, Ernie. Fine. Just relax. Now, what about an iPad camera?"
"Just think about it for a minute Lauren," said Ernie. "If there was
a nice, front-facing camera on the iPad, what would be the first thing
you'd want to do with it?"
"I know what you'd want to do with it Ernie, but I'm not a pervert,"
I said.
"C'mon Lauren, get real. Now, what's the obvious
super-whiz-bang-deluxe application for an iPad with a front camera?"
"Well, uh, video calls I guess."
"Give the man a cigar!" said Ernie. "That's right, video calls.
iPadders would want to Video Skype and Google Video Chat their little
hearts out!"
"So what's wrong with that?" I asked.
"You're not thinking again, Lauren. What's unusual about video calls
compared with other kinds of typical mobile data usage?"
"Well. Let's see. They're pretty data intensive, at least compared
with audio-only VoIP ..."
"Right ..."
"And given that you usually want to see someone's face throughout a
video call, you probably need a continuous, symmetric data stream,"
I said. "And since most mobile data networks are optimized more for
downstream than upstream data ..."
"Keep going ..." said Ernie.
"But I don't see ... Oh no!" I exclaimed.
"Ah! It's sinking in, is it buddy boy? Which mobile carrier is the
current iPad built for?"
"AT&T."
"Yeah. AT&T. The hardware won't even support T-Mobile's 3G
frequencies, not to mention non-GSM systems like Verizon or Sprint ...
correct?"
"Yes Ernie," I said. "And nobody's going to be making video calls at
lower than 3G speeds. AT&T. It just didn't occur to me!"
"And that's the same AT&T that's been driving iPhone users crazy with
mobile network congestion and other mobile problems for ages," said
Ernie. "Not only that, they're pricing the iPad data plans below
typical price points. Can you imagine what would happen if piles of
iPad video calls started hitting their network? It's the obvious
killer app! Everyone with an iPad would want to do it!"
"So you're suggesting that if the iPad had included a built-in camera
usable for video calls, AT&T couldn't have handled the load?" I asked.
"Handle it? Can you imagine what it would look like -- hell, smell
like -- to have AT&T cell sites across the country all melting down at
once? I mean physically melt down. Bubbling copper. Molten slag.
Liquefied ..."
"I get the idea, Ernie. But wait a minute. Why couldn't you include
the camera on all of the iPads and then just restrict users to video
calls over Wi-Fi? Or only include the camera on the iPad models that
don't include the 3G radios?"
"Would you want to try explain that kind of restriction to users? And
how long do you think it would hold up with half the universe trying
to hack around it? You really believe it'll work to tell potential
buyers that the cheaper Wi-Fi-only unit includes a camera but the more
expensive model that also has 3G leaves the camera off? Hell, Apple
is already being dragged over the coals for their anal app approval
and acceptance apparatus -- how much worse would you have them make an
already nasty situation?"
"All right Ernie. I'm convinced. So what's the solution?"
"Solution? I'm not offering solutions. You just asked me why there
wasn't an iPad camera, and I'm just telling you what I know. Take it
or leave it," said Ernie.
"This stuff sure gets complicated ..." I said.
"Yep. But that's half the fun. Look bro', gotta go. Nice talking at
ya'. And remember! Google Dyson Sphere! You heard it here first!
Was that just a click on the line?"
"You're always hearing clicks, Ernie. Thanks. Try to stay out of
trouble," I said.
"Exit, stage right!" said Ernie.
--Lauren--
Lauren Weinstein
lauren@vortex.com
Tel: +1 (818) 225-2800
http://www.pfir.org/lauren
Co-Founder, PFIR
- People For Internet Responsibility - http://www.pfir.org
Co-Founder, NNSquad
- Network Neutrality Squad - http://www.nnsquad.org
Founder, GCTIP - Global Coalition
for Transparent Internet Performance - http://www.gctip.org
Founder, PRIVACY Forum - http://www.vortex.com
Member, ACM Committee on Computers and Public Policy
Lauren's Blog: http://lauren.vortex.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/laurenweinstein