NNSquad - Network Neutrality Squad
[ NNSquad ] Scathing New Report Accuses Google of Unauthorized Air Collection
Scathing New Report Accuses Google of Unauthorized Air Collection
http://lauren.vortex.com/archive/000952.html
WASHINGTON (ZAP) -- It's been a bad week for Google. First, a Federal
Communications Commission (FCC) report -- released in essentially unredacted
form by the search giant itself ( http://j.mp/Ig8D3d [Google+] ) --
accused the provider of free Internet services of inappropriately
collecting fragmentary, unencrypted, publicly available Wi-Fi data via
vehicles engaged in their "Street View" mapping project. Though
Google asserts that these completely legal activities were not
sanctioned by management, and the FCC admits no laws were broken, the
Commission demonstrated its condemnation of lawfully receiving
plaintext transmissions from public airwaves by fining Google $25,000.
Now -- in a stunning double blow to Google -- comes word of an
upcoming joint report from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA)
and Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), that will reportedly
castigate Google for permitting their Street View drivers to breath
air without prior authorization in the vicinity of homes and
businesses passed by Street View vehicles.
A leaked excerpt of the FDA/EPA report states that, "It is likely that
Google's Street View drivers directly inhaled carbon dioxide and other
atmospheric components that had been previously respired by occupants
of local dwellings and commercial facilities, without having first
obtained explicit permission to do so. We additionally note the
strong probability that Street View drivers so inhaling may have
illicitly and at least temporarily incorporated some elements of such
insufflations into their body tissues, without practical mechanisms
having been prepared by Google for the categorization and separation
of authorized vs. clandestine utilization of associated molecular
constituents from associated atmospherically amalgamated respiratory
contents and gaseous chemical fractions."
The trenchant report also stipulates, "While it is true that virtually
any terrestrial oxygen-dependent organisms with conventionally
configured lungs would have been easily capable of breathing the same
air, in the same locations, in a similar manner, we hold Google to a
higher standard than merely what's legal and necessary to sustain
life, and are contemplating punitive actions including fines plus
strict sanctions and prohibitions against Google employees respiring
public atmospheric components, whether authorized or not."
An appendix to the report indicates similar concerns on the part of
European Union (EU) leadership, including a quote from the EU
Commissioner for Tropospheric Privacy, proclaiming, "Here in Europe,
we take the privacy of citizens' exhaled carbon dioxide, nitrogen, and
even argon with enormous seriousness. If we determine that Google
Street View drivers have been ingurgitating these materials into their
bodies without permission while driving public thoroughfares, the full
and powerful dynamism of EU enforcement regimes will be brought to
bear directly and firmly on such incorrigibly aerobic corporate
scofflaws."
A Google spokesman had no immediate comment regarding the new FDA/EPA
"breathing violations" report, but could be heard repeatedly bashing
his head into a nearby office wall.
--Lauren--
"Yes, this is a satire."
- - -
Lauren Weinstein (lauren@vortex.com): http://www.vortex.com/lauren
Co-Founder: People For Internet Responsibility: http://www.pfir.org
Founder:
- Data Wisdom Explorers League: http://www.dwel.org
- Network Neutrality Squad: http://www.nnsquad.org
- Global Coalition for Transparent Internet Performance: http://www.gctip.org
- PRIVACY Forum: http://www.vortex.com
Member: ACM Committee on Computers and Public Policy
Lauren's Blog: http://lauren.vortex.com
Google+: http://vortex.com/g+lauren / Twitter: http://vortex.com/t-lauren
Tel: +1 (818) 225-2800 / Skype: vortex.com
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